Grieving in Paradise

Ami Ji Schmid
Jan 15, 2024
2 min read

I wonder... did Adam and Eve have down-days and grieving days in paradise? I certainly do. Today I am having a grieving day, in paradise.

Note:

There is a (final) post about Malta I wish to share with you. It is not finished, so I can not send it yet. I can not catch you up from Malta to Istanbul to Antalya to where I am (in Turkey), today. Today though, I feel the need to write about today. After today, I believe I will get back to playing catch up. Please forgive my dis-order.

I am in Adrasan (Turkey). I am literally living in a mountain range, by a Mediterranean Sea bay. This is what is looks like here...

This is what it sounds like here...

This is what I look like here...

I am living in paradise.

No matter where I am, today is a grieving day. Two years ago on this date, Jessica left her body. As my friend Apey once said, "It's not right that she is not on the planet." It is not.

Today is also the Yahrzeit of Barry's death. Six years. It has been six years since Barry left.

I allowed myself this grieving day. I am glad I did.

I listened to the play list of songs I had put together for Jessica's memorial service. I cried. I snuggled with a kitty. I danced. I cooked. I stood still. I squatted, holding onto the table, and sobbed.

My friend Mujdat came by on his motorcycle and took me (and Michelle's and Jessica's ashes) to the water for a ceremony...

Tomorrow is my dad's birthday. Grieving the loss of Daddy-O is mixed up in this Grieving Day as well.

Grieving Days feel necessary. Even in paradise.

There is something sacred and grounding about sharing grief. Sharing this with you makes my emotions feel more real, more connected with my life. Sharing the emotions of grief helps integrate grieving and living. I am feeling. I am alive. We are here together.

Thank you for being here. I am with you as well. If grief is coming up for you right now, I am holding space for you to be in this Grieving Day too. Welcome.