Honoring the Living and the Dead in Crete (in 4 Parts) --- Part Three: 3 Releasing Ceremonies

While traveling for these past two years, I’ve been releasing some of Michelle’s and Jessica’s ashes everywhere I go. Their ashes have been spread on a street in Tashkent, Uzbekistan.

They are all over Turkey: on a deck in Istanbul, in an underground city in Cappadocia, tossed from a cliff into the Mediterranean Sea by the Adrasan Bay, in the Sea on the Antalya beach where my morning exercise group met, and on Fusun’s farm in İznik.

Ashes were released into the St. Paul’s Bay in Malta. They were sprinkled into the middle pool of Magnolia Park at Wilhelma Zoo in Stuttgart, Germany. They were released by “the bench” atop a hill in Langho, England, and thrown into a lake in a park in Delft, Netherlands.

Sometimes I released ashes on my own, sometimes with others. Sometimes it happened spontaneously, sometimes it was planned. Sometimes the release was done on a special occasion, like a death date.

The first Releasing Ceremony I did in Crete was on the anniversary of Barry’s and Jessica’s deaths. The date is also the day before Daddy-O’s birth date. Somehow, that feels significant. I decided I did not want to do this release alone, and that it should be in a meaningful place.

When Ole returned to his home in Kalyves (where I had been dog-sitting for Mickey), he took me on an outing to Chania; we drove to the south of the island to visit my Aussie friend Cathy; we drove into the mountains nearby – for freshly made olive oil and honey, through orange and avocado groves and small villages, to a Taverna where food they had grown was cooked outside on an open wood pit; and we drove to Aptera Fortress.

As soon as we got out of the car and walked around, I felt this might be a good spot to hold a Releasing Ceremony. The Fortress oversaw all Kalyves. It had protected the area. Back in Kalyves, for days, I realized I saw it from everywhere I went – from the bay, while walking in the mountains, driving back from outings… everywhere. It was almost omnipresent, like my People. The Releasing Ceremony needed to be at Aptera Fortress.

I created a flyer and invited people.

Three precious new friends joined.

We began the ceremony with an energy cleansing ritual. We invited ancestors and Spirit to join us. We meditated on what we’d like to release. We wrote our words on paper. We burned our papers in a communal pot. I added Michelle’s and Jessica’s ashes to the pot. We scattered the combined ashes onto the land around Aptera Fortress. We ate sweet oranges and bitter chocolate. We shared. The land felt more significant. I felt more connected. My heart felt full. I felt lighter.

The second ceremony was done with my new friend Patrick. I had told him I'd like to release more ashes before leaving Kalyves, this time into the sea. He had wanted to show me his favorite “magic spots” in Crete, so, on the day before I left Kalyves to move to Chania, we went to Patrick's favorite “magic beach” in Kalyves.

Patrick took a video of me releasing the ashes of Michelle and Jessica into the Mediterranean Sea, along with a chocolate covered almond in honor of Barry. After, we took off our clothes and swam nude in the cold water (with the ashes and the almond), dried off, stood on this now more sacred ground, and watched the sun set.

Patrick also introduced me to his favorite “magic cave” in Chania.

When we arrived, a young man was camping in the cave. He had built a semicircular stone wall for protection from the elements, and a fireplace inside it. He invited us in and offered to make hot tea. We listened to his adventures and plans, warmed by his fire, tea, and hospitality on this cold day.

After the young man had planned to move out, Nora and I planned a follow-up trip to the cave, to feel into its energy.

Nora had been doing her own releasing ceremonies around Crete. She felt called to do a healing-releasing ceremony in this particular cave.

It was cold and rainy the day we trekked to the cave. When we arrived we were uncomfortably wet and cold. After standing in the cave and walking around it for a bit, we began our trek back to Chania. We were tired and cranky. We wondered out loud if this should be the site for our (next) releasing ceremony.

As if Spirit themself had been listening, a double rainbow appeared, one end seeming to rise out of the turquoise waters of the Mediterranean Sea, lifting across the sky, and landing in the ground in front of us. "Yes," the cave seemed to answer.

While looking up directions to share with participants, we learned that this was called “Mikis Theodorakis Cave.”

Michail "Mikis" Theodorakis was a Greek composer, probably best known for his musical score from the movie Zorba the Greek. His life was filled with both music and unfathomable, politically driven trauma. During his last years, he lived alone in this cave, dying on September 2, 2021.

Nora felt that Mikis would like us to do a releasing ceremony in the cave, to help him ascend.

On the day of the ceremony, Nora was not feeling well and stayed home. She told me later that during the designated time of our Releasing Ceremony, she meditated, becoming an energetic presence, a witness, in Mikis Theodorakis Cave.

Ellie, Vanessa, and I were present, joined by three more women (we hadn’t met till the ceremony). The six of us gathered on the beach and hiked to the cave.

We set up our ceremony in the mouth of the cave, where the young man had lived for weeks. We laid down a blanket to circle upon, started a fire, created an altar, and set our intention.

We invited Spirit.

We shook, danced, stomped, voiced loudly, and created beats with our bodies, mostly led by Ellie.

We did a guided meditation and listened to the stirrings of Wisdom. We witnessed and held our hurt parts. We wrote onto paper what we wanted released and purified.

We walked into the dark cave, and read what we had written to each other. Some expressed how surprising it was to hear how intertwined our words were.

We brought our papers back out to the fire and burned them, together, into one bowl. I added Michelle’s and Jessica’s ashes. We all added names of deceased friends and family.

We each scooped ashes into our hands, and with them, walked alone, in silence, releasing them to the surrounding earth, and water, and air.

In Spirit's time, we returned to the fire, to the altar, to our circle.  We shared our experiences and listened to each other deeply. We cried and laughed. We ate and drank.

Each person shared feeling lighter. And though the day was darkening, the cave felt lighter.

During our sacred sharing circle, one woman told us how she was here (in Crete) when Michail "Mikis" Theodorakis died. She said there were huge gatherings to honor him. Nora told me later, after our Releasing Ceremony, that she felt that Mikis was released.

I put a short video together from pictures and videos from these three Releasing Ceremonies in Crete. Please enjoy the video, as you await the last blog in this series: "Honoring the Living and the Dead in Crete (in 4 Parts) --- Part Four: Communicating Through the Veil (Oct. 28-Nov. 11, 2025)."