Things related to grief feel so important to share. First, let me set the stage.
There have been an especially large number of devastating earthquakes in this part of the world. This is because the Anatolian Fault is near the Turkey and Syria border, where three geological plates interact.
When geological plates move in different directions and speeds, they put pressure on a nearby fault line and will eventually cause an earthquake. This pressure has been likened to squeezing a seed between your fingers until the seed pops out. In the case of an earthquake, the popping seed can be catastrophically deadly.
There have been many earthquakes in Turkey. There have been a large number of earthquakes in Turkey's history that have caused the loss of human life, some causing from 60,000 to 260,000 deaths. There have been a large number of modern earthquakes that have caused the loss of hundreds to thousands of lives. The three most devastating modern earthquakes (in the past 100 years) in terms of loss of human life have been the 1939 Erzincan earthquake (32,700 deaths), the 1999 İzmit earthquake (17,127 - 18,373 deaths), and the February 20, 2023 earthquakes that struck Turkey and Syria ( a total of 62,013 deaths).
Traveling in Turkey this time, I am coming face to face with the rippling effects of loss due to earthquakes. At this point, I have touched the surface, twice.
My first new friend, Sukran told me about being in the 1999 earthquake. We have not talked about what happened in terms of personal loss, only the traumatic outcomes she lives with. We will hopefully get together at least a couple of more times before I leave İznik. Currently, she is busy picking olives.
I made a second friend. This very young man served me my new favorite Turkish dish: “meat soup.” He asked where I was from. “America,” I said. “Can I visit you there,” he asked. Why not, I thought and handed him my card with my WhatsApp phone number on it. He connected with me on WhatsApp and sent a couple of chatty texts which I ignored. Then we started texting for real.
N: How old are you (2 hug emojis)
Me: 65 (star, shiny heart, star). You?
N: Waowww. You look so young. I thought you were 35 years old or something
Me: Ha! I was wondering why you want to get together. I’m like a loving grandmother (star, shiny heart, star)
N: candy grandma (1 big hopeful eyes with a little smile emoji)
Me: Candy grandma… like…. Sugar daddy?!
N: will you be my sugar grandma (3 of those big hopeful eyes with a little smile emojis) (1 hearts around the face emoji, 1 pink flower,1 vibrating heart)
My mother and father is dad. I’m earthquake victim (2 big sad eyes emojis)
Me: Your parents are… dead? From the earthquake last year?
N: Yes
Me: Oh Sweetie. That’s devastating
N: They died in Diyarbakir (4 single tear emojis)
An hour later, after talking about love, loss, relationships, and children, Nurullah asked "So what is your profession?"
Me: I help people. My specialty is working with grief and grieving.
I believe we will be friends. More shall be revealed.
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